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For the longest time I was a victim – someone who blamed the world – blamed people, blamed my circumstances, the economy lack of money and customers and all of that –  all of my problems & challenges was [because of] something else going on outside of me.

You know these types – these are the people that complain about their spouse “well you don't really understand how she is – if you did, then you'd know why [insert challenge here]“

Or they tell you how rotten their jobs are or how they wish they could do what they really want.

They are victimized by their own thoughts – just like I was – they're actually self-imprisoned.  They are giving away their future just like Stephen Covey puts it.

And my purpose is to encourage and inspire you to stop trading your life for something you hate – to stop being that victim.

YOU have the power to change your world – your present world and your future world.

It's too easy to sit back and say “I'm stuck – I can't do anything about it – there's nothing I can do about this situation”

But you can.

You can go out and DO something about it.

As I'm recording this, I'm kinda thinking of the story of Aron Ralston. The  true story of him – he's a survivor – he was literally trapped under a boulder while he was mountain climbing.

If you haven't seen the movie 127 hours, that's the true story rent it.

Because if that's not a victim of ‘circumstance' and the ‘outside world' then I really don't know what is.

Aaron broke free and while he was doing that, while he was in the process of breaking free…he recalled his life – he remembered his family.

He remembered the fun time he had with his friends.

And he pictured everyone he would leave behind if he just gave up and “lived with it”.

And that's literally giving up his life – I get it and the analogy's there for a reason and I'm on a tangent here, but I hope you're getting the meaning of this analogy.

Because You CAN break free from being a victim –

Whether that's the physical boulder that's trapping you or it's just an analogy of a boulder of life or whatever challenges you believe that are the boulders in your life holding you down…keeping you trapped

You just have to have the drive to do it.

And that's really  only gonna come from within.

Nothing changes on the outside unless you and me change on the inside.

And most of the world they wanna change their life and have every intention of escaping the very thing that makes them feel ‘trapped'.

But “intent” only the beginning of initiative, right?

Now let's go back to Aron for a second.  Imagine if Aron ‘intended' to extricate himself from the boulder…and just stopped there.

The story would have ended in a very different way.

But that's not what happened right?  (I guess that's a spoiler alert if you haven't seen the movie yet but you get my intention though)

Here's the greatest part about intent though: it means you've done some thinking…it means you are looking for solutions to the problem:

” I intend to do this and I intend to do that”.

You've actually thought about it and that's a good thing.

But – as a victim, when we blame the world and we sit back because “it is what it is…”, that's an intention too.  It's an intention to sacrifice your life for something you're unhappy about.

And for me, it just doesn't sit well.  And for people around the world who are getting up and changing their lives by doing things they would not normally do, it doesn't sit well with them either.

They KNOW their world is gonna change – things are not going to be as they are – there's gonna be an unknown variable that we have to deal with – but that is a much better solution than living with the KNOWN circumstances they live in today isn't it?

A lot of people come to me and want help with moving past their fears and it's that “unknown” that they're really afraid of.

Really, when it all comes down to it, what are you afraid of?

“Well, the unknown, what's going to happen…I don't know if I do this what's gonna be the outcome?”

And all I do is to get them past that is paint their present situation in darker colors than they're used to.

And that's what you can do as well.

You're present life is here because of your past.  And it's staring at you right now – so what I would do is get out the charcoal and trace the outline of what you see – defining the boundaries and cages you have become a victim of.

That you've become so used to living in.

And when you clearly define where you are – you can clearly define where you want to GO. And where you want to break free

You'll see the weak link – where you can actually erase the line and get through.

Isn't that the truth?

Isn't that what clarity is all about?

We all want “clarity” of some kind – and I think it begins with knowing where we are first.

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Like this? Please let me know below!

Talk later!

Joey

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Joey I gotta spend some time with you –

At dinner last night my very successful friend and long time colleague said this to me…

And he was talking about me coaching him…

Or at least having a few “coaching” conversations that would help him get clearer about performing better and reducing all the time constraints in his life.

I think it was because we were talking about all the entrepreneurs in general who have their backs pressed against the wall deflecting and reacting to the day as it comes at them.

I guess it struck a nerve because we both got pretty animated when we talked about how much he has going on and how important freedom is…

And then I dropped it on him…

“So what's the challenge, what are you FIGHTING for?”

My wife looked at me with her “oh boy, here he goes” lovingly of course..

And my friend? he gave me am even stranger look – like “what the hell are you talking about?”

So I asked him again – “what are you FIGHTING to keep? In other words, what are you NOT willing to give up?”

Because I knew something he didn't know…

I knew he was fighting to stay AWAY from something MORE than he was fighting to GET more of something else. Does that make sense?

Like money … or freedom … or better time management. Like everyone else wants right?

But I wasn't ready to tell him, I wanted him to figure it out on his own…

Because he was doing what EVERYONE does when I'm coaching them:

They only tell me what they WANT.

They hardly ever tell me what they DON'T want- unless I ask them.

Unless I dig and dig and dig.

Think about it.

You're an entrepreneur right?

Why?

What do you WANT?

What are YOU fighting for?

Is it so you don't have to go to work for someone else over and over again?

Is it because you don't want other people making decisions that affect your life anymore?

Is it so you don't miss anymore of the special family moments because you're in a board room completely bored out of your skull?

You can see where I'm going with this…

But he didn't… yet…

So I told him again – “listen, I want what you want. I want more money and freedom too – in fact the entire world wants it.”

“But I know exactly what drives me to go get it.”

“I know what makes me produce every day resisting procrastination and fear of making decisions.”

“Is that I want to KEEP the freedom I already have.”

“It doesn't mean I have the freedom to go buy an island and just sit around all day, but I've created a sense of “freedom” right now that I'm happy with … even if I NEVER got any more freedom.

does that make sense to you ?

Even though I want MORE freedom, that doesn't drive me. It doesn't pull me forward.

So when I really thought about this, I realized this:

The threat of taking my lifestyle / freedom or whatever you want to call it AWAY from me over GIVING me more freedom that I don't know right now what it feels like is WAY more powerful.

I think MOST of us are driven by this type of pain. Or whatever your pain is.

We don't like to give up anything.

That's why a lot of people are paralyzed. It's why entrepreneurs go around in circles – it's not only because they're disorganized…

It's because they are NOT willing to give up something to get what they want.

But that's another tangent all together.

The point is, YOU have to figure out what you DON'T want in your life and what you're going to do about it.

As an example, I'll ask a coaching client “why do you want more money?”

And they'll say something like “because I don't want any more stress”

“Stress, what do you mean stress?”

“Well” they'll say, “I just want to pay off this debt”

Aha!

So it's not REALLY that you want more money…it's really that you DON'T WANT ANY MORE DEBT.

Can you see the difference?

It's huge

Do you feel theres a difference there because you're connecting with that pain rather than the more money thing.

When you know that pain and use that as a driving force, everything changes in your business.

you make decisions better and faster because you don't want to be caught up in the pain anymore.

You produce and eliminate all the crap that you're flailing around in right now

You just focus.

And more often than not, it means you remove stuff from your life so you can focus on eliminating the pain.

But so often entrepreneurs keep ADDING stuff to our lives thinking it's going to fix the problem – when in reality – it's just the opposite.

Eliminate EVERYTHING except the first thing. As Wyatt Woodsmall says “first things first and second things never”

And that scares the crap out of entrepreneurs. Because we want to do it all.

Until next time, I hope you figure out what your pain is so it drives you forward…talk to you later.

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Like this? Please let me know below!

Talk later!

Joey