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Yesterday I was having a conversation with my ten year old daughter about fear. Specifically, the fear of public speaking.
We all know that public speaking is the number one fear for almost everyone – over and above the fear of dying….
But this is not only about the fear of public speaking…it's about the fear of the unknown…the fear of failure…
I told her “fear is good” – because I believe it is.
Fear means you're alive. It means you're alert.
I'll come back to that in a minute – because I want to bring up another point for you to ponder as I go on:
What you need to fear, is when you DON'T HAVE FEAR.
Huh? “Daddy I”m confused” she said.
Fear – however we perceive it, makes us alert.
It makes us perform better if we're on stage because we don't want people to hate us or think we're stupid.
Fear makes us look at the details of a real estate deal a little bit closer because we don't want to lose money.
Fear helps us choose better and build a business that supports our lives because we don't want to fail!
In other words, if you DON'T HAVE FEAR, you're screwed.
That's because you'll make decisions and choices without any care of the outcome.
You're fearless.
Now some may argue that being fearless is the way to go.
And I'm not disagreeing because I've lived my entire life like this. I've built businesses by just DOING IT.
By Going with my gut!
But was I fearless?
I would argue that I was just IGNORING my fear. I was (and still am) in CONTROL of my fear.
That took me a long time to figure out.
And I think that's what being “fearless” means.
It means you want something MORE than the fear you have of doing it.
Being in control of that fear creates the commitment you need to succeed. In both life and business.
That's why most people don't get ahead. They let their fear control them.
When fear rears it's questions to me and I still go for it, it means I'm ready – I'm ready to learn and experience what I get from whatever it is I'm doing.
It doesn't matter whether you're jumping out of an airplane – or starting a business – or getting up to speak or perform to ten thousand or ten people. (by the way, if you have a venue of ten thousand I can speak to, hit me up – I want to step into that fear)
So are you with me? Do you understand what I'm telling you?
Your fear is the gasoline to your success.
Don't take your foot OFF the pedal – just ease up a little to negotiate that hairpin turn coming up and keep going.
(I dunno why that racing analogy came to me – but whatever, you get it.)
So the next time you get a sick feeling in your stomach to step out on stage or scared to pull the trigger on your real estate deal after all the numbers make sense, think of that as your test.
Are you REALLY ready and committed to what you say you are?
What you do next is your answer.
It's not rocket science here. You're actions speak louder than anything you say.
Honor your fear – be OK with what it's telling you to focus on.
But don't let it control you.
Because when you let fear replace forward momentum, you're in trouble.
And you'll probably be going around in circles for years to come.
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Talk later!
Joey