LinkedIn Marketing (LOSER) Scripts

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linkedin marketing

This dude tries his LinkedIn Marketing with one of the WORST intros ever.

He’s not the only one, but I’ll pick on him because it happens every week, and I’m kinda getting tired if it:

“Hey Joey, I’m looking to expand my network of coaches and consultants. Would you be open to connecting?”


I’ll break down why this is one of the worst linkedin marketing “intros” ever in a moment.

But first, I like to stir the pot – as you know 🙂

So I ask him “ did you have something specific in mind?”

Because I smell someone looking to shove their sales pitch down my throat.

And BOOM he doesn’t disappoint…

”Thanks for reaching out (um, no, I didn’t – I’m just responding to you dumbass) My magic is helping business coaches and consultants generate 3-5 “QUALIFIED” inquiries a week WITHOUT AD SPEND. If you think this can be a good fit for you or someone else you know, I’d love to connect”

Now, WHAT pops out when you read that LinkedIn marketing message?

Aside from my “dumbass” comment, I haven’t changed anything.

If you said “QUALIFIED”, “WITHOUT AD SPEND” you’re bang on.

Um, yea.

WHO are these “qualified” people?  And why does he feel the need to put “qualified” in quotes?


But it gets better.

Because when I asked him the SAME thing, here’s what he says:

“LOL…that’s a fair response. (I know) “Qualified” means it’s specific to the target market you’re going after, and you have control over that. (really? thanks for giving me the basics of marketing 101). Our process only works if you have your target audience and the magic you do for them dialed in.”

There's that magic word again.

And I LOVE (that’s sarcastic btw) how his “process works” only if I have MY “magic” dialed in.

So I HAVE to have magic, so HE can do HIS “magic”.


I always thought magic was doing the seemingly impossible. And getting “qualified” leads without ad spend is right up there in my books.

I dunno about you, but I don’t fall for this crap

Perhaps I’m overly sensitive when it comes to this kind of linked in marketing because I’ve pulled clients out of script suicide before.

I don’t even buy “discounted speakers” from dudes driving around in a van who happen to “find me” while I’m pumping gas.

But digress.

These linkedin marketing scripts that amateurs use are what makes us real marketers look bad.

I’ll prove it.

Here’s his linkedin marketing script broken down:

Hey [insert name], I’m looking to expand my network of [whatever the LinkedIn bio of the dude you’re soliciting says].  Would you be open to connecting?”

See how cheezy it is?

And THIS is the boloney they teach in *some* “marketing” classes.

Imagine if YOU went to the LinkedIn’s and Facebooks with that crap.

I know.  Funny, right?

IF you really want to connect with your audience, put the time and effort into learning more about how to HELP them first, without giving them a sales pitch.

One of the ways I do it is by having a conversation and giving you a REAL blueprint that removes the overwhelm and simplifies the implementation process.

AND, my stuff actually works because there’s NO “magic” – because anything worth its weight comes with actual work.  But it doesn’t mean you need to struggle.

If that’s what you’re looking for, and want to set up a blueprinting call with me, click here.

About the author 

Joey Ragona

Giving heart-centered entrepreneurs, experts, and coaches clear direction & simple next steps to market and grow your business and advance your mission.

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